Counting my blessings.

I, like most people, think of christmas as a time to reflect on the past year. There's something therapeutic about letting your memories fill your mind, cherishing those that you hold dear and realising how much you have grown throughout the lessons that you've learnt in times of hardship.

I was thinking about how much I've grown personally in twelve months today and I couldn't help but get emotional. I can honestly say that I hit my lowest point towards the end of this year, but it has been the rising up that's been the making of me. I feel grounded and I feel okay. To me, feeling okay is something to be cherished as for a very long time I have been very erratic in my emotions - that being either rock bottom unhappy or over the top happy.

I have also come to realise that I am as strong as I choose to let myself be, it took someone to say that they couldn't help me for me to realise that I need to be able to help myself - sometimes tough love is just as beautiful as those who will do anything to help you. That is not me saying that I do not believe that those who chose to help me did not, because they kept me breathing this air and allowed me to cherish the place in which I am in, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Furthermore, this time of year brings home who is the most important people in your life. I used to strive to be everyone's friend and fit in to the most popular groups, they never seemed to have a space for me. Again though, for this I am grateful as without rejection I would not have found where I belong. I would not have met my best friends. I would not be able to laugh at the dumbest of things, have private jokes that bring a smirk to my face when I need reassurance, or have someone to turn to for a hug or a shoulder to cry on when I need it most. Throughout this time I've always had a group of people to turn to that would never judge me, hug me when I needed it most, but most importantly; love me unconditionally.

So tomorrow I shall hug my family a little tighter and value the greatest people in my life, past and present. I would also like to wish merry christmas to anyone reading this, I hope you have a beautiful day and a very happy new year xxxx