"How to be me"

side note, this is not an incredibly self-righteous post about how to be the perfection "bitch please" (blatant sarcasm that hopefully didn't need to be identified but now that I have - just roll with it) that is me... think of it more as a little note to myself as to how to just suck up the fact that I am who I am. Hopefully without all the soppy crap too. ALSO big up to Caitlin Moran for giving me these sudden realisations. She is my female queen, yes, I rate her more highly than queen Bey... #nohate. Seeing her at the Cheltenham Literature Festival, gahhhhhhhh

1. Suck it up. You're different. You have genetics that make you that way and it's totally out of your control. So stop hiding away and being too quiet to speak. You are a funny, out-going and vivacious person, let everyone see that side to you. 

2. DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS. You are so unlike those people on the telly, and the airbrushed beauties on glossy magazines, that you really shouldn't try to live like them or put yourself down when you put on an extra pound and your thighs look like two tree trunks when you sit down and your jeans wear through far too quickly from the friction of those trunks getting all friendly with one another. 

3. You like food. Amen, the mothership, the god (aka, cake). It's fine. Food is great and you should be grateful that you have the ability to buy/taste/munch on all the good stuff. Just because you talk about food in every other sentence doesn't make you have an "issue" with food. It just means that you're a simple little soul and you take note of the little things in life - or in my case the big batch of brownies that I've just delved in to. 

4. Your face ain't symmetrical and that's fine. Let's face (ironic) it, I don't have to see it all the time - that's all your problem... Your 6th and 7th cranial nerves aren't there girl, never have been and never will be. You don't have the muscles on your face to physically do all the things that most other's can. But who actually gives a monkey's? Oh wait, yes, ONLY YOU. Well stop. Ain't nobody got time for that!

5. Laugh more and worry less. Life is whatever you make it, why spend it being all down in the dumps. Just chill out and take things with a pinch of salt. Whatever you can't change just make the most of/work it. Also, stop listening to depressing songs because they do in fact make you feel like shit. Yep, that does mean deleting all the 'hidden' sad playlists on your spotify...

Basically, just live and smile - because even a wonky smile is better than none at all.