You don't need that shit anymore

I am my own worst enemy. There is no one else in my way, it's just me stopping me. I'm bored of making excuses about why I can't do things. I am such a strong and resilient person; it's about time that I decided that the things that happened in my past don't have to affect my future. I'm so sick of holding myself back. When I'm older I want to be able to look back at my life and know that I took every chance that I could have to make the best life for myself. I don't want to let the people who ruined my past, ruin my future too - they don't deserve it. 

The past few months have been really up and down, and I've had to fight demons that I thought I had killed off years ago. But I was speaking to someone at my christmas party - albeit encouraged by some (a lot of) alcohol - and they said something that has really bloody stuck in my head, "you don't need that shit anymore". And do you know what, I don't. Every time that I've felt a little bit low, or been taken back to a place filled with negativity I've just heard those six simple words and they have stopped me hitting rock bottom on so many occasions.

I'm not saying that it's all plain-sailing from here on out, and I'm not naive enough to think that I can flick a switch and everything will be ok. But it doesn't have to always be ok. Just as long as I remember that I can, and will, fight for my own future. It doesn't have to have the dark cloud of the past lingering over it and stopping me from really achieving what I want. I will get there and I will not let other people dictate my future. I need to remember: one day at a time, baby steps.