A hypothetical letter from my aged-self.

Looking back now, everything seems so irrelevant – so painstakingly insignificant. The years of torment and subsequent depression amounted to nothing in life’s grand-scheme. Of course in those years everything was so real, and it all mattered so much. But when you are on the other end of life, wishing for more years, you wish that you could go back and live the years you spent too afraid to really be alive.

You were always so scared of being alone, being unloved, that you almost forgot to love yourself. But when you found that love deep within you for yourself you blossomed and grew in to a mature and intelligent woman. The beauty from within you began to radiate, and one by one the fears you had held on to for so long diminished.

Life hasn’t always been plain-sailing, it never will be. As they always say, “the course of true love doth never run smooth”. I think you learnt that you could rely on yourself to be the inner strength that you needed. You’ve seen people come, and people go. Lives beginning and sadly lives ending. The most important thing I think though, is that you’ve loved, been loved and loved with all your heart. You’ve learnt that as quickly as things come, they can go again just the same.

You’ve succeeded at the things you wanted; family, friends and a job that you feel is worthwhile. There are things more important that money, and people who deserve your time and perseverance more than others.

Looking back on all that you’ve achieved, I’m just proud that you kept going. Life hasn’t been wholly kind to you, and you have suffered many misfortunes. But please, just know that you end up happy and not alone. You have always been loved, and will always be loved.