False compassion is the same as no compassion.

“If compassion doesn’t include yourself, it is

 incomplete” – Buddha. 

This quote really resonated with me. It’s true that we often look at others with a loving eye and yet when it comes ourselves we are judgemental and unkind. It fascinates me to look back to times when I have seen that people are so much “better” than me – so much prettier, intelligent and popular. We are all taught unconsciously in life to be modest and not to boast about yourself, but why? Ultimately we are the most important person in our own lives, we’ll always be there when things go right or wrong, when we’re happy or sad. We need to be able to count on ourselves.

There have been many times when I’ve given advice to my friends and choked on my own words because I realise that they are apparent in similar situations that I have found myself in. Alongside this, whenever I see someone is upset or hurting I feel for them and want to make things better. Yet many times when I have been sad or hurting, I’ve told myself to “get a grip” and felt like I was over-reacting. Why can we not show ourselves the same compassion that we show others?

Part of me feels like it’s an inherently British thing, like the stereotypical “we only show emotion to dogs and horses”. Truth is though, everyone is guilty of it. At the end of the day, you can only display true compassion with someone if you have felt their pain, or similar, at some point or another. Otherwise it’s false and somewhat meaningless. It may come from the best intentions and from the warmth of your heart. Sometimes though, it offers a sense of peace and comfort if you know that you’re not the only one in that situation, and that often can’t be found anywhere else.