being selfish does not make you a selfish person

Ok, ok, so I'm feeling really deep this week. But you know when you're just thinking about how far you have come as a person and you just feel like you want to document how good you feel about yourself for the times when you need a bit of a pep talk. Future Jemma, this is your pep talk, listen up gal...

You know when you were in school and you were so unhappy that you actually didn't see, nor did you want a future. Aren't you glad that you didn't give up - because 23 y/o me sure is. And when you were doing your alevels and were too scared to try because you were scared to fail? Well the moment you got over that fear, you aced it. When you were at uni you couldn't see yourself in a job, you thought you'd never walk in to an interview and do it without tripping over your words. Well girl, you thrive in interview now. You literally love the chance to talk to new people, and you love the challenge of thinking on your feet.

You're the person that you would have envied as a teenager; someone with drive and passion, and everything that you were always too scared to have. Fear doesn't define you, and it should not restrict you. It should push you forward, and make you want things like you never realised you did before.

This year you put yourself first, you chose your own happiness above the happiness of others; yet you still have the compassionate soul you've always had. You let friendships grow with the people that deserved you, and said goodbye to those who dulled your spirit. You have loved people, and felt their love and pride for you. Your confidence has grown beyond recognition, your strength and resilience is like nothing you could have imagined.

So, Jemma. Whenever you feel like you're not achieving your dreams, or like you're not strong enough to make changes in your life. Just remember this:

You are your own hero. You are a warrior. 

Creating creativity

Living in student accommodation there isn't that much you can do to personalise your room, but I found myself being so uninspired to do my work, writing or anything at my desk. It was far too cluttered and I just couldn't concentrate. So, the other day I was a bit bored and decided that it was the perfect excuse to make my desk a place where I wanted to be and work efficiently and effectively.   Granted it's not the neatest, or perfect place for everyone, but it's perfect for me.

I wanted there to be colour and quotes, and pictures - things that make me happy or have memories associated with them, or that make me feel inspired. Now my desk consists of colourful post-it note quotes, cards from people I love and care about, pictures of me and Caitlin (obviously), and the tweet she sent me too!

It's just somewhere that makes me feel both inspired and peaceful at the same time. All my notes and university work is around me, my favourite films and books, fairy lights and no snacks! Honestly I used to have all my snacks near my desk, and for someone with a very sweet tooth it was very distracting.

As a writer I wanted to find somewhere that really sparked my creative flare and this really does, I'm so thankful for that. In other news, I've really been enjoying my sporadic blogging - I hope you are too!

Mid-way book review: "You're the one that I want" by Giovanna Fletcher

Want that perfect summer holiday romance book? I suggest you keep reading... This book is uhhhhmazing. I'm only half way through, but I cannot not tell you about this little stonker! Written by Giovanna Fletcher, the incredible author of "Billy and Me", it focuses on friendship, love and growing up. Based on the lives of three best friends: Maddy, Rob and Ben, it follows them throughout their lives. Written through the eyes of both Maddy and Ben it captures every element of life and love.

It is described by Jill Mansell as:

"A delicious, heartwarming novel, with a fabulous will-she, won't-she storyline, that'll keep you up all night!"

I don't think I could describe this in a better way, it captured my heart right from the get-go and I'm just in awe of the characters and their individual stories and how they all link up to be something really beautiful. 

I couldn't recommend this book any more, in my opinion it's the book of the summer. I'll definitely be doing a full review of the whole book once I've finished it.

You can purchase it here on Amazon :) 

I'm obsessed with GI's world, her blog on tumblr - I suggest you should give it a follow! xx

(ps, what's your favourite summer book to read?)

Losing yourself amongst your thoughts

The past few evenings I have found myself sat outside in my garden as the darkness fell over me, like a soft blanket over a sleeping child. It has provided me with such comfort. The sky is the same for all of us; we all watch the same moon awaken amongst the stars each night. 

I've been feeling very philosophical, reminiscent, thankful for everything, I have been dealt many cards on this earth, had many challenges. But I have survived them, I'm still here. In some moments it is an uphill battle, filled with pain, tears and heartache. I survived. I can tell my story, and hear others. Share tales of enormity. 

Each star holds a story; each light has a meaning. Even the darkening skies have meaning, for without them the stars could never shine bright enough. That's what I always forget; the dusk is only there to show us our own strength. 

A week of happy #4

1. The sunshine - the weather in the UK has been a bit hit and miss this week, but the rainy moments have made the sunny ones 1million times nicer. 

2. Walking around the golf course with my mum - my mum has become quite the little golfer and so to spend any time with her I have to follow her around the 9 hole at our local golf course. It's beautiful though, and especially in this weather and drawn out nights there's nothing better than walking bare foot through the grass. 

3. Coconut Records 'West Coast' - this song just represents summer, and whenever I'm on a bit of a downer I just play it loudly and everything is right again with the world. 

4. Afternoon tea - On Friday I went to a local hotel and had the most beautiful afternoon tea ever; I won't say too much because there will be an accompanying blog-post on tuesday...

5. Signing up to an online course - I've been looking for something to fill my summer for a while - alongside blogging that is - and it seems as if I've now found it. I found the deal on WOWcher for an Criminal Profiling course, and thought it works quite well with my degree and I get a level 3 qualification at the end of it. It was a steal at just £29 instead of £220 - I'll possibly update you on that as and when things happen!

6. Toast - simple, quick and easy; I've been obsessed with oaty wholewheat toast and butter lately. Perfect for breakfast and just a small snack throughout the day. 

7. Orange Is The New Black #OITNB - I've only just got in to this, I'm still not fully on the bandwagon yet. But I was watching the other night and just completely laughing out loud. I have a feeling it's going to be a new favourite of mine. 

8. Rosé wine - I'm not the biggest drinker by a long shot, but I've loved the occaisonal glass of wine whilst sat outside soaking in the beautiful evening sunshine. 

9. Instagram - I've become somewhat in love with this social media platform this past week. Check mine out if you haven't already... @jemmainwords... plug plug plug.

10. Staying in my home town with my grandparents - as you read this I'm currently their now enjoying their company and all the familiarities of home. Since moving away, I've come to understand just how lovely it is to be back there and around the things and people close to my heart. 

Barry M Aquarium Collection: Mediterranean Review

I recently purchased this nail paint whilst in the queue in River Island, torn between this and Arabian; I picked Mediterranean just to try the effect out. The multi-tonal colour grabbed my attention as being perfect for summer. With it's shimmered shades of orange, peach, pink and gold it's singing out to accompany a sun-kissed glow. Only needing to apply two coats of this it was quick and easy. 

As with all BarryM nail varnishes the applicator brush is thin and easy to use. The paint itself is free of any gloops, streaks and dries very quickly. I've had it on for a few days now and there have only been minimal chips that you would expect when you're going about your daily life. 

With it having so many shades to it, it means that it can go with so many different outfits. I've also had a lot of compliments on this whilst wearing it. Even as I am typing this it catches my eye and mesmerises me for a second! I have every intention of going back to buy not only Arabian, but many others. Simply stunning. 

www.barrym.com

My staple summer footwear

I originally bought these gorgeous summery flip-flops for a wedding. I wore a maxi dress and so I wanted to opt for something that was very comfortable yet still pretty and appropriate for a more formal event. When I went in to the store I just fell in love with these St Tropez Seagrass flip-flops. The stunning beading across the straps instantly caught my eye with rose-gold, gun metal and marble colour beads, and at just £12 I knew these were such a steal; I'd had a pair of Seagrass flip-flops a few years back and literally wore them until there was nothing left of them. They're so comfortable, and with my odd shaped, different sized feet I couldn't ask for anything better. I usually take a size 5 shoe, however I opted to only get a size 3 in these as I just thought they looked nicer and there wasn't a massive wedge of emptiness at the back of my heel - that's not such a good look with flip-flops. I would definitely recommend these and am planning on going back to purchase these as they are perfect with skinny jeans and a t-shirt, dresses, skirts and shorts.

Dear Accessorize, you've succeeded in making another great product! Please keep making your flip-flops though, they truly are a godsend!

Big dreams.

Long term I have goals, ambitions and hopes. I mainly pride myself on being a realist and always airing on the cautious side of things, sometimes though this isn’t always the best thing to do. Being a realist, for me personally, means seeing and having dreams and great ambitions but just not always thinking that you can reach them. It sometimes leaves me rather pessimistic and “glass half empty”-like.

That being said, sometimes I have times when I feel like the world is my oyster. Instead of feeling like a small fish in an ever-increasing pond, I think that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I want to jump on these rare moments and capture their childish beauty. It is almost like when you’re very young and are asked “What would you like to do when you grow up?” and the responses tend to be “a princess” “a singer/actress” “superhero”.

I could now say that if you put your mind to something, you can achieve anything. For some this is accurate and they have often put a lot of hard work in to things to get there. However, the realist inside me is dying to say that this is only a small few, and that this won’t happen to anyone other than the very “lucky”. But then, the child-like aspect of my being keeps reassuring me that dreams are magical, without them life can get predictable. The bigger the dreams the more the passion, and the more passion the bigger and bigger dreams become, and life just becomes so much more alive.